Need Jokes / One Liner's for Friends 50th Birthday....Roast Need Jokes / One Liner's for Friends 50th Birthday....Roast
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    Need Jokes / One Liner's for Friends 50th Birthday....Roast
from Griff (209.111.74.93)  
7/3/2003 1:46:00 AM

Rated:

 OK Guy's Give me some good ones!!


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   You're so old... from Don (66.32.76.140)  7/3/2003 5:59:00 AM
 You're so old that "doing it three times a night" is how many times you get up to pee.


   you're so old... from Nanook (198.103.167.20)  7/3/2003 7:20:00 AM
 You're so old, you have hieroglyphics on your driver's license.

You're so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to your apartment.

You're so old, you walked into an antique store and they kept you.

You're so old, when you were young, rainbows were black and white.

You're so old, you have an autographed Bible.

You're so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

You're so old, when you were born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

You're so old, your social security number is 1.

You're so old, you birth certificate says "Expired" on it.

You're so old, you owe Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

You're so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

You're so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

You're so old, you have a picture of Moses in your yearbook.

You're so old, when Moses split the Red Sea, you were on the other side fishing.

You're so old, you DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.

You're so old, you went to an antique auction and three people bid on you.

You're so old, if you were a car it would be time to roll back your odometer.

You're so old, I asked to see your birth certificate, and you handed me a rock.

You're so old, you went to school before they had a history class.

You're so old, when you read the bible, you reminisce.

You're so old, so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

You're so old, your blood type was discontinued

He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried. - Geoffrey Madan

Personally, I stay away from natural foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get. - George Burns

Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope

With new data, scientists have determined that the universe is 13 billion years old. After hearing this, Strom Thurmond said, 'It kills me that I missed the first half.' - Conan O'Brien, on 100-year-old US Senator, Strom Thurmond

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

You know that you're old when your wife says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

You know that you're old when friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes when you're barefoot.

At your age, the porn you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis".

I've seen stale raisins with less wrinkles.

At your age, you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

At her age, flowers scare her.

It takes you longer to rest than to get tired.

At your age, "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.

At your age, "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're so old, an "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.


   At 50, men become bi-sexual............ from Phantom (67.64.126.250)  7/3/2003 8:40:00 AM
 They get scre*ed by both Mother Nature and Father Time.

Phantom


   Some more.... from Greg Heinz  7/3/2003 10:23:00 AM
 You are so old you have Abe Lincoln’s beeper number.

You are so old that when God said “let there be light”, you hit the switch.

You are so old that when you were in school there was no history class.

You are so old that you owe George Washington 3 bucks.

You are so old your yearbook didn’t have pictures because there were no camera’s.

You are so old Moses signed your yearbook.

You are so old your birth certificate says expired on it.

You are so old you were waiter at the Last Supper.

You are so old you ran track with dinosaurs.

You are so old your birth certificate has a date in Roman numerals.

You are so old you sat behind Strom Therman in the third grade.

You are so old your ears are still ringing from the big bang.


   You are so dang old... from Won Hunglo  7/3/2003 10:23:00 AM
 You are scared to buy green bananas.

At your age...Never waste a hard on & never trust a fart.


   Sooo old from William lee (216.81.110.155)  7/3/2003 4:03:00 PM
 You are so old, you blow dust when you pass gas!


   Old Fisherman.... from Kirk (24.158.136.56)  7/3/2003 10:35:00 PM
 Old fisherman never die....They just smell like they did.


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