Submitted by El Guapo (ip 12.214.191.184)

Date Fished: 6/7/2008
Water Temperature: 87
Water Clarity: 4 feet or greater

El Guapo movin’ on with more fishin’ fun. First, let’s get right to the hard-hitting issues of the day. Hey, you’ll never find a bass in my livewell (dramatic pause) because I put all of mine back ….. with a cold one!

What’s that smell you say? It’s so hot outside (how hot is it?) that I just put a frying pan on top of my livewell and place the catch of the day right in the skillet and cook ‘em up on the fly.

The willowflies. They’re already in Roseberry, the first place I’ve spotted them anywhere on the lake. True. You know I like to mix my comedy with a few facts. They’ve shown up along with more weeds in front of County Park launch to stall out any engine on the market. I know the willowflies are there because they kept dive-bombing into the hush-puppy mix as I drifted by. Yes El Guapo a drifter, that’s because not even a trollin’ motor is getting you around back there. More weeds than a Mexican drug ring. But you know, willowflies taste pretty good. Actually, Very, very good to me! Batter up!

That’s the good side of Roseberry; the not so nice side is the new “snooties” building a slew of ka-trillion dollar homes as you go in there. The Funny, albeit ironic, part of the whole mess is that the pesky black-death birds (cormorants) are laughing at you rich kids from the boat docks just on the other side of the cove from all that hammering and banging. For real. There’s a little piece of duck heaven, an island jutting out there by the dilapidated boat houses in Roseberry, oh about 400 yards away. There’s about a “million-air” of ‘em in the trees yappin’ like a school of 2-year-olds whollaring in a bunch of plastic balls at Chuck-E-Cheese. Don’t know what they’re sayin’ - but it can’t be good. Coming soon to a theatre near you! Half bird, half duck, and a whole lot of trouble. Look up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, (dramatic letdown pause) it’s bird crap. There goes the neighborhood!

But at least once they all move in (the rich kids….and the winged ones) you won’t see any more weeds in Roseberry, because hey, they pay their taxes!! There’ll be more bird poop and pesticide in that cove then a water treatment plant. And since it’s the clearest part of the lake, we’ll all get to look at it first-hand. As you know, the lovely cormorant is on the endangered list, so we’ll also get to watch Brad and Buffy shaggin’ the angry birds up like 3 dollar golf balls and hiding them in their golf bags for later distribution. Didn’t Johnny Rivers say “welcome back baby… to the poor side of town!”?

What a cove, that Roseberry. It’s got everything. Ski boats, Jet Ski kids, yachters and a few brave fishermen hiding under ball caps. You have the trailer park on the one end and the rich kids on the other end. Don’t you know that’ll make for some angry parents when the teens start dating. Kind of like the redneck version of Romeo and Juliet. Then again, some of the trailer park folks do have a lot of money. See, what they do is spend a bunch of their cash on a huge gas-gusslin’ house on wheels and drive it to the mobile home park. The reason: I guess it’s because all along they really just always aspired to be trailer trash. A little more irony there for you to think about.

Anyway, back to the fishing report. Roll the willowflies and puppy mix into little doh-balls, put ‘em on number 6 hook and best five was over 20 pounds (of course). And not every bass caught on the lake is pictured (pause) because you’d have to take a shot of my tummy; and there’s not a camera lens big enough for that. Oh yeah, Very, very good to me.

Going for long siesta now, still suffering from heat stroke and bird flu.

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