Well, I gotta go get a DOT recertification at 2:15. Well, I gotta go get a DOT recertification at 2:15.
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    Well, I gotta go get a DOT recertification at 2:15.
from remmy  
8/6/2012 1:14:13 PM


 Which is a full physical.....I think I'm going to go ahead and lose some pride and tell the Doc about my hem'roids.
The recert is free, and if I can get him to give me a referral, I won't have to go to my own doctor just to spend a 100 bucks to get a referral.

Any o' ya'll ever had 'roid surgery?

Painintheass me, Wannabe.

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   You had to know that someday from Sammy #10958 #10958  8/6/2012 1:21:47 PM
the things you and Wannabe have been doing all these years was gonna catch up to you.

You need to do some research on this, the doc may just be able to give you a script of some kind for immediate help also.


   Ben Dover from Fisherboy #10852 #10852  8/6/2012 1:22:53 PM

Get a colonoscopy and they can finish up with the H-surgery and kill two birds with stone. They'll put you to sleep for that.

Better get that referral while you can. As soon as O-care fully kicks in, they are going to hand out DIY kits.

   And the DIY kit from Dr. Phyl  8/6/2012 1:34:02 PM
consists of a new O-ring and a piece of duct tape with a hole in it just smaller than the O-ring. Location will be everything on the install.

   Eye no some one who did from fatboy #9897  8/6/2012 3:19:06 PM
It ain't pretty, she went through hell. First doctor screwed it up and after several more attempts to repair things the fugger told her to go somewhere else. I guess things are better now butt dang.

I would get a second opinion anyway well that any forget a Jack of all trades surgeon got with a prock ,err porc, oh heck a butt-hole doctor.

   Well.....Got my referral. from remmy  8/6/2012 3:30:10 PM
They are supposed to call me today and let me know when I have an appointment with a Doc in Brunswick.

It was funny as heck awallago.....he told me he needed to look at my butt, and that he wanted to check for internal 'roids. So I said OK. Dropped my draws and bent over and he said....and I quote....."Damm! I ain't stickin' my finger in THERE!"

He said he wouldn't send me to any of the docs around here because all they would do is put me on a fiber diet. he says I'm way past fiber diet.....said the only thing that will help is surgery.

   I got some suppositories for hemorrhoids once from MikeF  8/6/2012 3:32:00 PM
But for all the good they did I might as well of shoved them up my @ss.

   You Will Be Sitting On An Inflatable Donut For A While from Tbone  8/6/2012 3:41:52 PM
There will be 1 or 2 more 'lifestyle' changes also.



   Like what, TBone? from remmy  8/6/2012 4:10:15 PM
Please don't tell me I gotta quit eatin'.......

   Now this is really some from Hoot  8/6/2012 4:20:57 PM
Ass-n-nine humor(the number of posts here when I showed up...even though according to the descriptions and the Doctor's reaction...The Roids in Question must be well off the 1-10 Scale...

They could use all that extra DNA to clone a few more Liberals like Brad who is a Him-a-roids and a giant pain in the backside

   He probably forewent from Sammy #10958 #10958  8/6/2012 4:27:13 PM
the manual examination thinking that it would be too painful for you. Wow, you must have them bad. In the meantime try this.

Get the suppositories and use them. Also (and don't laugh you phuckers, I knew I guy that had to do this before he broke down and had surgery)
Get some maxi pads and some cream, apply cream to pad, I think you can figure out what to do from there.


   And this might be helpful from Sammy #10958 #10958  8/6/2012 4:33:21 PM


   I watched this operation on TV from bobj #17034 #17034  8/6/2012 4:36:45 PM
It looked quite simple.

All the doc did was use an expander and in a tube about the size of a 2" exhaust pipe lifted each roid up and put a ligature on it. The girl walked out of the surgury saying there is only mild discomfort. After a couple of weeks the roids dropped off.

   Tell me remmy ...... from Wade Fisher  8/6/2012 5:12:14 PM
Does it sound like a flock of ducks running through a puddle when you phart? Bwahahahahaha


Sorry dood. I couldn't help it. Good luck finding the right Dr. and a successful recovery from your re-rectal-ization.

   Bwahahaha Wade! from Crowbar  8/6/2012 5:52:37 PM
Hell of a duck call ya got there Remmy!

   I really enjoyed the ... from Spooled Again #9650  8/6/2012 8:09:52 PM
...sounds of the fulvous, whistling tree ducks.


Thanks for sharing.

   I had them after the one truck accident from CSpots  8/6/2012 8:21:38 PM
I hit the sterring wheel so hard, it pushed stuff outward and had two surgeries, one to tack things back where they were supposed to be and one to fix the roid that popped when going through the windshield=

Now when they tell you to pull the gauze they got vasalined up, when you think you got to take a dump, DO it, dont pull too soon and dont pussh it out- timing is everything and within a couple days everything was COOOOOLL
people heard me the first time at the other end of the hall, down by the elavators " muthaaaaaa phuceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssss- I did eat soft foods a couple days longer then they said was needed- to be safe and I drove real careful dfor a few weeks, I didn't want to get arrested and some bubba or panther they think I was used!

   Crowbar,,,, you areshole from Dr. Phyl  8/6/2012 11:11:44 PM
I will never be able to use a duck call again without thinking about this and laughing. And there's no way to explain it to anyone with me. andpharkthatgoofyWadetoo.

   10 days of sheer hell from Brad  8/7/2012 1:17:03 AM
my brother had it a couple years ago--glad he did, but it was far worse than they said it would be..

It'll make a big believer out of you SA beefeaters!



   Thanks, Sammy. from remmy  8/7/2012 6:35:01 AM
And Wade, when I phart, the gas only comes out of ONE side.......bwhahahahaha.

And you....Brad......just had to get a jab in, didn't ya. Are you sayin' thats what I get for eatin BEEF?

   The Doctor in Brunswick from Gone  8/7/2012 7:21:16 AM
I think his name is Gene Brown, Quackologist.

   Bwad? why so bad? could he have sex for 10 days? from CSpots  8/7/2012 8:50:43 AM
no I do not need to know

   sitz bath. may help from Gene  8/7/2012 9:21:11 AM
good luck.

   Wait until you take that first dump after surgery. from Mudfish  8/7/2012 10:40:10 AM
You will see stars.

   Stars? from Gene  8/7/2012 10:52:10 AM
what the heck are you eating down there???


   Not me, Dr. Geno. from Mudfish  8/7/2012 12:12:46 PM
I remember when my Dad had the surgery. They put him on stool softners so he wouldn't pop the stitches, but when he took that first crap I could hear him howling with the bathroom door closed.

   I'd be inclined to break it in with some good pharts first from Dr. Phyl  8/7/2012 1:31:45 PM
then go to the hard stuff. Kinda like breakin in a new engine.

   Muddy must be eating Lucky Charms from Gone  8/7/2012 3:15:13 PM

   sorry remmy, didn't mean to jab... from Brad  8/7/2012 6:29:18 PM
Do yourself a favor and don't eat any meat for the first few days.. friuts and vegies otherwise it wlll REALLY hurt--

I've got some vicadan left from foot surgery a few years ago--i'd give it to you if i could!

Good luck~

(don't send pictures)


   Brad that stuff will plug you up tighter than a drum from fatboy #9897  8/7/2012 7:17:38 PM
The drugs not the fruit.

Don't ask me how I know about the door knob up the butt ( big end first ) syndrome or the water nozzle effect said door knob has when a laxative is given.

   to be crude... from Brad  8/7/2012 10:13:28 PM
fatboy, i am prescribing the method for an ambiguous, undefined exit rather that a perfect intestional sculpture!

get it?





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